Zero regrets given
Am I lying in a bed with rails? Sounds of irritating alarms and words spoken too low to hear, there is the smell of get-well flowers and antiseptic, I see SportsCenter on the TV in the top corner of the room, the sound is turned down. My family is there looking haggard and heartbroken. My thoughts are rewinding at 32x, my lived life in still pictures. Things slowly start to fade to black….. “What the hell! Stop it!” It’s my German shepherd’s rough tongue licking my feet. I sit up fast in my bed at my home. OMG, it was a dream! I am Home! Home sweet home!
Bronnie Ware was a palliative care nurse for many years. She gathered what she learned from her experience and wrote a book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. In it, she says the number one regret is
they wished they had lived a life which was true to themselves.
Wow. With the nightmare still fresh in my mind, I thought of all the conversations Mrs. Ware had with her dying patients. What changes do I need to make in my life to make sure I am not one of those lamenting their end of days with “What if?” or, “I wish I had pursued my love of watercolors, started that alt-country band, or maybe, persisted with my invention of the suitcase which turns into a portable chest drawer….” The list of unwritten stories is long.
There is only one you in the history of mankind. Sure, the cliché is banal. But we cannot dismiss it as much. It is a cliché because it has a great deal of truth to it. How can it be that after billions of people there is no one truly like you? Intuitively, we know we are here for a reason. We all have a part to play, just like the beautiful camellia in bloom; a promising, brilliant orange sunrise; a loyal, beloved German shepherd. My el numero uno reason for existence is to make sure my mission is fulfilled. Like Henry David Thoreau said,
“I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.”
Too many of us continue unconscious. It could be loading packages for Amazon or FedEx, or perhaps, washing dishes in the daily grind of a commercial kitchen. Whatever the situation, you feel alone, trapped. This doesn’t mean you have to become the next Mandela or Churchill. It does mean you must actively seek the meaning this life has for only you. What brings you unbridled joy? Is there something you always wanted to do or be? What fascinates you? There is still time no matter your circumstance or age.
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.”
George Eliot
“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
Frederick Buechner
We love working with those easily distracted and who are having trouble staying on task. We help them to understand what may be going on, then watch them take flight. There is a significant shift in perspective, ultimately changing behavior leading to a more satisfying life.